Summaries of reviews?

Anti-prom: The essay totally rips on the concept of prom. It portrays prom as an event in which parents willingly supply their children with massive amounts of booze and hotel rooms to have sex. The essay continues to say that parents do this because they didn't have proms themselves and aren't morally strong enough to stop their children. Although I realize that this is a summary, I must point out that not all prom-goers go out afterwards and get sauced, stoned, or whatever. Many go to prom as a fun time to share with friends, without breaking the law.

Dark Visions: The author really does not like Watchmen. He thinks that there are too many superheroes, providing for boring storylines, and you cannot focus on one throughout. Also he complains that the movie is so far removed from the book that it sucks. In his opinion one of the characters resembled "A porn star left overnight in a meat locker." This review is absolutely scathing in every way, and seems to be directed at convincing everybody to not see this movie.

When Harry Meets SCARY: This review about the 2nd Harry Potter movie promises that it will be far more exciting than the first film. Many feel that much of the first film was introductory, and look forward to the 2nd movie in the series. However, the creators are afraid that the movie will earn a PG-13 rating, cutting down their audience tremendously, which is mainly young children. Fortunately for them, The Chamber of Secrets is only PG rated, despite some grim scenes such as dead cats and big ol' spiders. Also the child actors no longer had to be coached through their lines as in the first movie, as they become more comfortable in their roles.

Turning ten Analysis

Collins is talking about the transformation one undergoes as they get older, from the innocence of youth to taking on responsibilities and realizing as you get older that the world is a rough place. He captured the spirit of childhood by describing the naivety and carefree attitude of young children, and it is effective because we can all relate to it, since we were all 10 once.

Definition essay questions

1) An idea in the paragraph that was fresh to me was the idea that a Yankee is someone who is generous but will never offer to help another; only will they help someone if they are asked.
2) I am no expert on what a Yankee is, but I would have described it as a northerner if you asked an American and an American if you asked a foreigner. Also to some, especially hardcore baseball fans, Yankee would denote a fan or player of the New York Yankees.
3) A comprable thing to define would possibly be a "limey", which is a slang term for Britons. It came about from the British practice of growing limes onboard ships because they were easy to grow and the sailors would have some fresh fruit to avoid scurvy.
4) The "good Samaritan" gave me some idea of what a Yankee is, but the other two allusions didn't help my understanding very much.
5) No, its important for the reader to understand that there are misconceptions concerning what a Yankee is and then dispell the misconceptions.
6)

"That's what I think defines this dying breed of the American Yankee: an extraordinary sense of balance and reserve, a holding off — and yet, behind all that reserve, a reservoir of generosity and friendliness that can be nearly overwhelming. "

A modest proposal questions

1) The real thesis is a criticism of the English oppression of the Irish in Jonathan Swift's time.
2) The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty thousand couples who are able to maintain their own children, although I apprehend there cannot be so many, under the present distresses of the kingdom; but this being granted, there will remain an hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year. There only remains one hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents annually born. The question therefore is, how this number shall be reared and provided for, which, as I have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; we neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, till they arrive at six years old, except where they are of towardly parts, although I confess they learn the rudiments much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers, as I have been informed by a principal gentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to me that he never knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art.

I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve years old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this age they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times that value.

3) Very early on, because you can see him talking about eating young children and you know its satirical.

4) He specifically targets poor Irish, but thats satire. He is really writing an essay in support of poor Irish.

5) "First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, there being a round million of creatures in human figure throughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock would leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by profession to the bulk of farmers, cottagers, and laborers, with their wives and children who are beggars in effect." 

6) He is saying that he doesn't actually believe that we should eat children.

7) I have never had a "labor" job.

8) Maybe we could do some sort of soylent green thing, where they are processed into some sort of shape and its a tightly kept secret that it is actually made of babies.

Wife essay

1: The thesis is that women are expected to do so much while their husbands are expected to do so little.
2: It makes the reader realize how absurd the "ideal" wife is.
3: No. She is writing what she thinks men want in a wife. She wanted for people to read it and see how preposterous the standards set for women are.
4: She is portraying wives as totally subservient to their husbands. She organizes a wife's services in long paragraphs. I would say it was totally silly, but i know she doesn't believe this and is making a point. She wants her readers to feel that what she has described a wife as is ridiculous. She does this because she feels that wives are treated lowly like property of their husbands.
5: Dear Judy Brady,
                   I admire your passion on the subject, however I thought that the examples of what you think a man wants in a wife was too long. Halfway through I thought to myself, "Ok, I get your point that wives are expected to do w hat their husbands want." I do however think that it was a good persusive writing, and that the extensive lists add to the absurdity of the point you were trying to make.

Hansel and Gretel Satire

Hansel and Gretel Satire

            Once upon a time, a woodcutter lived in a house in the woods with his son, Hansel, his daughter, Gretel, and his second wife, who was an evil and cruel woman.

            The mean Stepmother constantly badgered her husband, “These children are dumb and annoying!, Get rid of them! Take them out deep into the forest and abandon them!” The woodcutter did not want to get rid of his children however, and refused, because that’s child endangerment, which is against the law.

            So one day the wicked Stepmother told her husband, “Listen you idiot; you have to choose between me and your brats. They go or I go.” So the woodcutter locked himself in his room for a week and thought it over. At the end of the week he came out of his room, and told his wife, “Get out of my house you wicked woman!” She shrieked in anger and ran out of the house and into the forest.

            The wicked woman (I would call her the wicked stepmother, but she’s not Hansel’s and Gretel’s stepmother anymore) in a blind fury, stumbled through the forest, cursing the names of the woodcutter, Hansel, and Gretel.

            After a few cold nights of sleeping on the ground, which only served to make her bitterer, the woman, totally lost, came upon a house made of candy and delicious sweets. Not having eaten in days, she ran to the house as quick as her feet would carry her, not considering how bizarre it was that a house made of candy was sitting in the forest. Grabbing pieces of the house and devouring them hungrily, she hardly began to notice when it began to rain. The rain, which came on hard, immediately melted the sugary parts of the house and spoiling the rest. The house, who’s structure had already been severely weakened by the woman grabbing large chunks of it and eating it, compounded with the rain, collapsed on the woman. Out of the rubble came a witch, screaming about how her house was ruined. But before she could address the woman, the rain started falling on her, melting her, seeing as how she was a witch. So the wicked woman pulled herself out of the rubble and died after a few days from exposure and thirst.

THE END

Satire things of February 22, 2012

The Little Girl and the Wolf and the Princess and the Tin Box. I liked them because they were funny and poked fun at the old fairy tales by adding a modern aspect to them. One is similar to Little Red Riding Hood, though I'm not familiar with the other. In the Little Girl and the Wolf he has the Girl shoot the wolf, which is funny because you are expecting the wolf to eat her then later the hunter comes and save her. The other one is funny because the reader expects the princess to choose the poor prince, though she doesn't because that would make no sense.